Just passing through.

Today my family and I looked through old photos again that we found in my dad's closet from his room, and I found a lot of me and my grandpa, and it really made me miss him. I never really got too close to him, but he still shared a lot of stories with me, and we even had a few inside jokes. I loved him and his silly little fake toupee. I hate that he hid the fact that he had cancer from us for over a year, and that he just accepted it. But, I can't hate him for the choices he made. It was a lot easier on my grandma without her having to worry about that for over a year until his liver and kidney and lungs started failing and then he finally passed. I love that he had the strength not to fight the cancer, but to accept that he couldn't do anything else and told them not to put him on medicine. I really miss him, but I know he wouldn't have been happy being sick and stuck in a hospital. That wasn't him.

Now that I finally got that off my chest, all I have to say is that my day has been spent watching very interesting shows on TV. I watched: You Are What You Eat, Criss Angel: Mindfreak (those episodes were hilarious), Edward Scissorhands, Teen Titans, and then Scary But True. I'm still watching that, actually. I think they're having a marahon. It's funny seeing how the styles were back in 2001.

And, just a little fun fact I learned today, when my hair started to grow in when I was a baby, it would've been a mohawk if my parents had spiked it. For almost a year it was all just right in the middle of the top of my head, and close to none on the sides. I knew I was special!

#100!

My 100th blog! So, might as well, post up the picture I took flaunting my mantra cuff this morning! Of course, it's hard to see, but it's there all right. I love it. I'm actually writing this blog while I'm supposed to be doing the tons of homework I have, especially writing my history notes for tomorrow's test. Five large sections to cover in one night: not fun. But, that's why I procrastinate. I procrastinate way too much, actually. I need to concentrate more on getting better at "hard work". I'll get there eventually, I just need to put myself to it.

Tomorrow I'm submitting an application for my first job at a restauarant. I'm definitely excited to start working for my own money and having something to do afterschool. It'll cut my time away from home and talking to Edi and Eryn, but it's going to happen eventually, so why not start now?

I really wish I could just not do these notes. I need them, but I'm too tired for them. I had way too much junky food today too. Sonic and then Domino's pizza. Not cool. I also saw this one guy I had math with last year driving his car, but he was also smoking. He's only sixteen, so I thought that was kind of sad. He's a really awesome and funny guy, but seeing him start to smoke so young just wasn't what I thought he would do. Oh well - it's his choice, and I can't convince him otherwise.

So. 100th blog post. Not the best. I'll make 150 or 200 super special.

Salvation.

I stood up for myself, and people didn't like it. They felt I was dramatic and calling them names, but it was just me standing up for myself. I don't like being told what to do,who to date, or anything like that. I don't need a boyfriend, especialy in high school to keep me happy. I guess I'm really just not like a lot of high school girls my age. I don't care about making out and if I'm inexperienced with it, I don't care if there's a boy I'm "talking" to (you know, the stage before "dating"), and I don't care if my legs are white, because I guess pale is in, or something.

Kirsten is helping me along with all of this, telling me I can do it, and encouraging me to be my own person. We don't try to do what people want, we just do what makes us happy. What makes me happy is being happy, being myself, and being able to ask something of a few people who call me their friend or "best" friend. I just ask for me to have to say "Stop" once, and the pestering stops.

I hope Kirsten isn't sick tomorrow. She and Kyle seriously have the best things to say.

My two best friends have either divorced parents or parents in the process of getting a divorce. It's sad and it makes me feel extremely grateful that my parents decided not to get a divorce years back.

Still trying to get over my cold while coughing my lungs out.

I need to turn my webcam on to flaunt my Keltie Colleen mantra. One girl asked me where I got it today in Chemistry, so I wrote the link down for her. It made me happy. I feel like it makes my day just that one little bit better that makes your day awesome.

Kiss the Rain

I would like it to be August 2010 so I can go to Germany and sing happy birthday to my Opa and hug him and then go see his fish with him. I would also like to help Oma cook in the kitchen, go with Maxi and Fabi to the pool and throw each other in, go to the cafe and buy a beer (legally!) for Lisa while I get an ice cream, and have yummy yummy food for two whole weeks while conveniantly missing school.

I was able to sit outside for an hour and stand in the rain and read the book I borrowed from the library at the little table we have out front. It was amazing - just what I needed. School's easy, fun, enjoyable. I'm being a good friend to someone who is never a good friend to me, but I feel to bad to abandon them although it's happened to me plenty of times before. I'm just that sort of person that knows what it's like to be alone, and I don't like seeing other people in the same situation. It's cold outside but boiling in my room. I should probably just change out of my jeans.

I am pumped for the weekend; first, I get to sleep in, and second, Edi comes back from camping. Yes! I also might be going to Kyle's and going swimming. I really hope he doesn't move to Utah now that we've fallen right back into being friends again. It's really awesome. He's a good friend, and a good influence (although "The Picture of Dorian Gray" is telling me there is no such thing as a good influence, and I totally believe it.)

I love my English class. We get to read for 15 minutes everyday, and it's exactly the sort of thing I need. Algebra 2 is the class I never use my voice in, Photo is the class Kirsten and Nicoli and I shake our heads at having to play 'penny pushers', Chemistry is the class where I admire the two girl's with great fashion sense (I really would like some ankle boots now), History is the class where I share a blueberry muffin with Demitry, Jon, and Angelique, and German is the class I pass notes to Kirsten and sleep and call Anthony a cartoon character. Those are all out of order, of course, but whatever.

I'm incredibly tired all ready, and its 8. I think I'll shower, read, and sleep. Hopefully within the next half hour. 4:30 is an exhausting time to wake up.

Surprise.

School actually isn't all that bad. Surprising. I like my classes, I like my teachers, and I know people in all of my classes except one. I still have some kinks to work out with some people, but hopefully it'll all be solved in no time.

My parents bought me a new bracelet to replace my brown one when it breaks. It's funny how they knew my other one broke when I didn't even tell them. They know the weirdest things sometimes. Not that I'm complaining. Now I'll have three bracelets on my right wrist instead of one when the Keltie mantra cuff gets delivered. I can't wait for "The Picture of Dorian Gray" to arrive either. I only just ordered it today, so it'll be a few days until I can start reading it. Still excited, nonetheless.

I really, really enjoy the weekend. It's nice to sleep in again.

I miss you.

Thank God for Kirsten Winters. This girl is going to be my savior. This was the first time we ever had a sleepover together or really hung out outside of school. And it was the best time ever. Crazy hair, crazy makeup, late night trips to McDonalds (one m&m mcflurry... no, make that two!... no three! and a large fry! no, not a sprite! thank you, mr. kirsten's stepdad), sad times about a video that didn't get saved, dance parties, becoming twins, passing out to Bruce Almighty, getting my milk stolen by a cute boy, and much much more. Talk about fun times. That girl is seriously one of the most amazing people to have walked into my life. She's so strong and so supportive. She'll let me rant about my life and then talk me through it and how to get past the faults and the bad people in my life, and she'll accept that I give horrible advice in return. I can only get out so many inspirational quotes before I realize that none of them are my own words.

I all ready miss her, but I get to see her FIRST thing in the morning on Thursday in Photo. And then hopefully during lunch, and then of course, we'll sit next to each other and sleep in German II. But yes, Kirsten is very close to my twin. We both had our Teen Vogue's out to show each other the '5 Quick makeup tips', had our Conair brushes, the same type of 2 year old makeup from Claire's (same pink starry case and everything), had I love NY shirts, plan on going to NYU, and much much more. Stupid Blogger deleted the rest of what I had, but there was much more twin-ness.

I missed Angel even for that short time. I think it was just because Kirsten's cat kept cuddling me. Now Angel and I have reunited, and this little shark got inspired by Shark Week and bit me whenever I moved. I still love her.

I'm ready for you, school. (I get out May 27th, yay!)