Having hope.

My biggest issue in life is that I always get my hopes up. I expect things to happen and I get ahead of myself. I start imagining things with this new thing, this new whatever that I'm hoping is going to happen, and then it just... doesn't. Things fall through, something happens that makes everything go wrong. Today, my dad decided we were going to adopt one of our friend's kittens, who was absolutely adorable, and we were going to name her Evie, or something exotic like Zha Zha. We called them up and told them that we'd love to take her, that she would fit right in (though the other cats would definitely disagree). We were told that this other lady was considering taking both her, and her other sister, and wanted to see them first before taking them. We were hoping that maybe Evie or Zha Zha would read our minds and hate the lady so that we could have her instead. We just got a call a little while ago saying the lady took both of them. This is what I get for getting my hopes up. This happens to me a majority of the time, but I rarely ever learn from it. I know it's ridiculous to get so upset over one tiny little kitten, but when you let your hopes get out of hand like I do, it's hard not to get this upset. I suppose it'll be better for Blacky - he's old, getting sick, and has been acting super strange. Maybe this was just fate's way of letting us know it just wasn't time. We'll get a kitten when the time is right. I just kind of wish we could have Evie/Zha Zha, the cute little kitten who likes to be held and had a white goatee.

Now that I've looked at the local shelters online and saw only young/average/senior cats, I want to adopt all of those ones who don't have a home yet. I just want all the animals in the world so they can be happy. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just too nice for my own good. I'm afraid that when I live on my own, I'm just going to have 500 cats and dogs and fish and whatever else. I'd say I'll mean myself up, but I won't do that, and I know it. I'll learn to live with this kindness.