it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

The impossible happened yesterday! We got snow! In Southern Arizona! I was so happy, and when my dad woke me upat 5:30, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I waited until it was light enough to go outside before I tackled the snow all by myself! I made an Arizona snowman, which means it was a foot high, at least, and it's arms were oversized mesquite tree branches. I had a lot of fun with it.

Of course, I came in after an hour or so and went straight to making hot chocolate and watching Elf. It was all well and good, but when the snow started to melt around 11, my brain seemed to melt along with it. I tried watching Star Wars while beating off a pounding headache, but, no success. Eventually when everyone got home, it seemed Dad and Lisa both had headaches as well, but mine took a turn for the worst first. I ended up falling asleep around 4:30, and they were all kind enough to let me sleep. I woke up at 1, was way out of it, read Harry Potter (#4!) for about an hour before I forced myself to sleep again. I woke up at 8, and found Lisa was home, even though she was supposed to work today. Surprise, surprise! She's sick as a dog.

It seems that on holidays, someone's always sick around here. It's just the luck of the Winslows, I suppose. Well, that's just how it goes. I'm excited to open up our presents tonight. As soon as the inside lights turn on, the wrapping's coming off!

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas Eve, and Christmas! Or, the usual: happy holidays!

PS, if anybody has snow they don't want, I'll take more of it! We haven't had a white Christmas since I was 4 or 5.

Shooting stars.

It's almost Christmas. I haven't really had much to say, and I'm not too sure why. I finished up my Christmas shopping today, bought a new cardigan, and a wallet to go with my finally achieved driver's permit! I'm one step closer to having my own car (if Lisa ever moves out and let's my have it - Lisa, I know you found my blog, so please move to England so I can be happy and have the car!). The break's only a few days in, and I'm bored sitting around doing nothing. I think I'm just so antsy for it to be Christmas all ready. Tomorrow, I definitely have plans to clean my room, again, and hopefully it'll stay that way for the rest of the break. I hope.

So. No news. Nothing exciting going on in my life. It's just me, myself, and I, trying to get through the last few days until the new year. 2009 was great, but how will 2010 be? I have a feeling it won't be as successful as this year, but I won't know until it happens, now will I? I'll just take it day by day, and hopefully make some rad New Year's Resolutions and goals, because every year I make ones that I always forget and never keep. I'll have to make a list of some sort.
Oh, and I cannot wait for Christmas. Today I got a book that's a guide to happiness, but since my madre bought it, I have to wait. At least it's only until Christmas Eve, and not Christmas morning, thanks to our German half of the tradition! Next year it'll be normal again. I'm so ready for Christmas!

I'm tired, and it's only 10:30. I think I'll go to bed.

22 Days Til Christmas

I'm not quiter ready to let go of this past year. I've had so many ups and downs, but mostly ups, and that's good with me.

I don't know what 2010 will bring to me, and I can only help it'll be as good as a year as this one was.

All I want for Christmas is Dorian Gray on DVD and now!

I keep procrastinating my shower, so I should do that now, and get some sleep.

World Behind My Wall

I've been feeling so emotionally and physically drained lately and I don't entirely understand why. I just want to go to sleep as early as possible and in the morning I'm still ridiculously sleepy. It's exhausting being exhausted. With finals coming up, and registration for next year needing to get done, I think I'm feeling the pressure of school finally. I'm aiming to take at least 4 AP/college courses next year, and I'm pretty anxious about all the extra work plus having a job. I can't believe I'll be working and driving next year. It's just so hard to wrap my mind around.

For fifteen years all that's been on my mind has been school, home, sleep, and then back to school. Now I have to fit work in there somehow, and I'm not sure how I'll be able to manage it with all the extra classwork that I'm bound to have. It'll just take a whole lot of hard work, and I hope I can accomplish all of that.

And, being drained and all, I can hardly think straight a lot of the times, and all I know is that right now, I just want sleep. There are times where all you want to do is sleep for days, and there's just never a reason. I think that's when your body has been taking so much of everything that after a while, it just needs time to shut down and reboot. It's like a computer, but... different. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore!

PS, my mother knows me best. I asked her if we had any Christmas smelling candles, and she siad no. The next day she came home with 2 holiday candles just for me and a box of hot chocolate mix packets. I love her so much.

I'm falling to pieces.

IN A TOTALLY WICKED WAY.

I realized that I never blog when I'm extremely happy and post details about my happy times. I only blog when I have a ton of things resting on my shoulders that just need to be thrown SOMEWHERE, which just happens to be this blog. Now that I've been happier than usual and having even MORE fun, I just haven't felt the need to blog. I write little blogs in my head about my life, all the good pieces, but I just never get around to posting them up here. I should probably try that.

But, I am alive and well and happy and content. It's nice to feel this way. And when I received my report card, I had grades I was proud of. Nothing below a B! And 4 A's. 4/6 is very good. I'm not too sure about Chemistry this semester, but I need one challenging class, and this is going to be it. Though I'm sure putting film on a reel in the dark is going to be just as challenging. Oh man.

Angel does not like webcam photo sessions. My hand and I found that out the hard way. Oh well.

And it might be magical,

It's amazing how much better some new clothes can make you feel. Shopping really is a cure for women. Haha. I am totally ready to start a new quarter, and NOT mess up in math again. I had an A the whole quarter, and in the last week I dropped down to a B. I am so angry with myself over it, but I'm not going to worry too much about it. I just have to not get so distracted so easily, that's all.

I realized that there are going to be people in the world you can't stand. They are just the most self-centered people EVER and they only ever want to talk about themselves and complain about themselves and other people and hate the people that aren't like them. Those are the people who can't open their minds and accept that everybody is different. I can't stand those people, but I accept how they think and how they act. You can't avoid them, and you just have to deal with them. As frustrating as they may be, you have to just get over it and deal. I hate having to do this with so many people, but I do, and it's fine. I can't stand them, but they interest me. They're just another kind of people that I get to study and learn about and learn how to live with. It interests me, no matter how much it angers me.

I guess my "calling" as some would describe it is what forces me to deal with these people. I want to do psychology, so why not be familiar with all sorts of characters? That's what high school pretty much is - one huge social experiment/psychology project. I'm not going to complain. As frustrating and stressful as it may be, I'm learning and advancing and overcoming things I never thought I could. I'm so different from the girl that got off the bus at 6:45 in August 2008. I've never been this confident and comfortable with myself before, and each day is getting better. I'm happier, and I'm refusing to let petty girls bother me. I don't need to be stressed out over these little things.

I'm changing and aging and I'm happily accepting it. I'm leaving that angsty, brooding, unconfident girl behind me and moving forward. Sure, I have my awkward moments, but I'm getting over them and it's all going to work out for me.

Operation Beautiful

I know what it's like not to feel beautiful, but knowing that there are sites like Operationbeautiful.com out there just make me feel so good about myself again. I have gotten so defensive when my friends have said some girl is ugly, because chances are she's more beautiful than them just based on her personality alone.

Every girl is beautiful, and they just need to realize it and believe it when someone tells them that. It hurts so much to know that there are girls out there who have looked at themselves in the mirror and cried because they don't feel pretty enough. I've been there, I know what it feels like. But I've had good family and friends to help me believe otherwise and stop criticizing myself when I look in the mirror, and just start complimenting myself. It makes me feel ten times better about myself. That's why instead of insulting people throughout the day, compliment them on a good quality they have, because everyone has at least one.