Karma.

Kyle and I won second place in NHD. We're going to Washington, D.C. in June. I dropped my phone in the toilet. I dropped my laptop on the ground. Neither works right now. I don't understand my karma. I never do anything mean (as far as I know), and I just don't see why this always happens. I'm incredibly frustrated, because no one's realizing that yes, my laptop is pretty much going to die soon, and it kind of is a big deal, seeing as I use it for everything, especially talking to my friends, since you know... I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm basically prepared to just waste my college money on a new one when this one does die. I didn't want to, but it'll probably be necessary. I hate how my fantastic and surprising day (we didn't expect to even make it into round 2, and we ended up qualifying for nationals) somehow turns sour. This always happens. No one understands how frustrating it is. I accomplish something I'm proud of, and it just gets completely buried with double the amount of negative things. I try so hard to remain positive, so I'm pretty sure a few moments of negativity aren't going to hurt. I know it's just a laptop and a phone, all material possessions that don't effect my real happiness. They'll effect my short term happiness, but overall, in a few years it won't matter. It's just frustrating that I'm never allowed to have a full day of being able to be proud of myself.

I'm talented at being normal, and I hate it. I'm talented at doing nothing, and I hate it. When I finally find something I can be talented at, I don't even get to enjoy it. Sometimes, I wonder why I never get to, and then I remember, I'm just not supposed to be talented at anything. No matter how hard I try not to live a normal life and make things interesting and fun, and try to find a talent, it's always just pushed away. It. Sucks.

I just need sleep.